Topic: Know

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine. 9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few. 8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

Things You Probably Didn’t Know You Could Do With A Fruitcake Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won’t park on your lawn. Use it as building material. (This is actually what the Ancient Egyptians used to build the Great Pyramids.) Keep one under your pillow for home defense. Send one to the junk mail company with a note asking them to take you off their list. It’s colorful, use it as a Yule Log.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People." You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

Have you ever heard that a dog often knows when an earthquake is about to hit? Have you ever heard that a dog can also sense when a tornado is stirring up, even twenty miles away? Do you remember hearing that, before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed?

Mother's Home Story...It's a Viral Thing Rules: 1. Copy and paste the story below, and the rules, on your blog. 2. Find out who you're going to tag. (2-3 people, or more, if you wish) 3. Write one or two sentences to continue the story, and use the titles of the blogs you're tagging or any word(s) associated with them as keywords in the links you include in your part of the story. 4. Remember to tell your taggees that you've tagged them! 5.

My pal Ann over at A Nice Place In The Sun hooked me up with some more linkie love. It appears we are both hooked on this linkie love thing. Anyway, it's easy to do and if it get us lots of linkie lovin' then why not.

Comedy Plus Recommends: ..."Ambre"..."And Miles To Go Before We Sleep...", A little piece of me, A Nice Place In The Sun, A Piece of My Mind, Are We There Yet?, Asara's Mental Meanderings, Attitude, The Ultimate Power, BeccA's Buzz, Blog That Mommy!, Can't Coach That, Coffee 2 Go, Coffee with Mz. Jackson, CrAzY Working Mom, Dixie's Heart & Soul, Echoes of Grace, EDog's Everything Page, Flip This Body, Get Your Blog On!

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window and gave the woman the finger. "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself.

TO MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Q. What’s the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? A. The location of the Dirt Bag. Q. How do you get holy water? A. You boil the hell out of it. Q. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? A. Dam. Q. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice? A. Polaroids. Q. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A. A stick. Q. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A. Nacho cheese.

~Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?” “98,” she replied. “Two years older than me.” “So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented. She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?~~ ~~Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked. She simply replied, “No peer pressure.

Original List: Handsome Charming Financially successful A caring listener Witty In good shape Dresses with style Appreciates finer things Full of thoughtful surprises An imaginative, romantic lover What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) Nice looking Opens car doors, holds chairs Has enough money for a nice dinner Listens more than talks Laughs at my jokes Carries bags of groceries with ease Owns at least one tie...

A naive young girl from a small town was visiting friends in San Francisco. She phoned her mom to let her know how she was getting along. “Things are rather strange here. I see men who hold hands, kiss and hug each other. They’re called ‘gays’ or homosexuals. Even more surprising, there are women here who do the same things and they are referred to as ‘lesbians’.

Everyone around you has an attitude problem. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: “How’s my driving? Call 1- 800-”. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting practice. Everyone seems to have just landed here from “outer space”.

American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery. It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood. It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.