Topic: Daddy

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years older than I am.

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive..

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.' The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.' The priest looked up from his book and answered, 'I am the Father of many.

One day while driving with my then 4 year old daughter Melanie, I beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at me for an explanation. I said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that daddy." I replied, "How'd you know?

A Kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know the cat was dead?" she asked him. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT??" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

A man goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed. The next day, Auntie Susie dies.

A teacher instructs her fifth-grade class to ask their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end. The next day the kids come in and share their stories. After a few students tell their stories, the rest of the class learns some of the morals you’d expect to hear, such as “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” and “treat others as you’d like them to treat you.

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, “How about that! Here’s a picture of my daddy.

Little Johnny says, “Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.” “Well, you’ve done the right thing,” says Mommy. “But Mommy, I was sitting on Daddy’s lap!